Later, Bell surprised him where Shepard was with his dad to offer her support, and Shepard admitted he had relapsed. While she told him he needed to call someone from Alcoholics Anonymous, she knew he had been experiencing a lot of pain from his motorcycle accident and that he’d been dealing with the stress of his dad’s health.
“That was eight years ago,” Shepard continued, later adding, “I’ve now had this experience where I did that, I felt bad, but there wasn’t any fallout from it. It was like, I felt bad, I said I felt bad, and then I did just move on and it was fine.”
After Shepard got hurt again, he was once again administered pills. However, because they kept him up at night, he decided to save them and take them on his own.
“That cycle happens maybe three or four more times,” he recalled. “I feel shady, but I don’t feel like this is a problem. I didn’t desire more when the thing was over.”
As life has it, Shepard continued to suffer more injuries, now having undergone seven surgeries. “I go ride a lot,” he explained. “After I ride sometimes on the track, I feel I’m entitled to take two Vicodin at the end of the day because I am in pain. That again doesn’t feel that crazy.”
After his last go-around of injuries, starting about six months ago, he noticed he started “getting shadier and shadier.”
“And I’ve not ever yet bought them,” he said. “And then I do…For the last eight weeks maybe, I don’t know…I’m on them all day. I’m allowed to be on them at some dosage because I have a prescription. And then I’m also augmenting that. And then all the prescriptions run out and I’m now just taking 30 mil Oxys that I’ve bought whenever I decide I can do [it].”